Tuesday, March 18, 2014

You thought I was done, didn't you?

Yeah, so did I . We were both wrong. Before I continue, let me warn you there is some major, major, icky TMI ahead and may be triggery for some. Read at your own risk.


I should be 19 weeks right about now. I should have been feeling my baby move, not begging the universe to let me ovulate so I can try again.

I finally had a period March 9th. On March 12th, I used the restroom and felt a pop, then a small gush. This is similar to what I felt when I was passing blood/baby/matter/tissue during my miscarriage. Blorp.  That's not really a word, but that's what it feels like to me: Blorp. I wiped, and there was a fair amount of blood (not menstrual blood, blood) along with...I don't even know. You don't want to know. Let's just call it tissue.

If you're doing the math along with me here, that's 9.5 weeks after the miscarriage. Nine plus weeks later. Still. More shit.

Um, I might also  mention here (because I don't think I ever have before) that one week after the miscarriage, January 10th, I had an ultrasound at which the tech said it was done and I was all clear except for one bit of tissue that looked like it was basically on its way out. I then passed something Jan. 29th.

What I passed March 12th was bigger. It was not the same. And there were two...things. What? I don't know. And no, it wasn't a new pregnancy.

I was terrified and called a nurse, who told me to go to the ER and take the junk with me. They did a pelvic exam, an ultrasound, a blood test, and some kind of testing on the junk. The pelvic and ultrasound came back perfectly normal. Blood work showed no signs of infection, and HCG had finally, finally fallen to zero. No one has ever called me about the testing they were supposed to have done on the junk.

So, basically this has all been super fucking fun. Am I done now?