Hi. Are you okay? I don't think this is a place people will just...stumble upon. I really hope you're okay.
I thought I should follow up and just finish out the tale. To recap:
- Loss (Daphne)
- Baby
- Loss (Aurora)
- Loss (Natalie)
- Loss (Samson)
And those three losses all took place within 9 months. I had a + test with #3 around November 20, 2016, and the loss date of #5 is August 14, 2017. Man, that is some stone cold bullshit. Wow.
We did go on to have a second rainbow. My last post here was October 2017, and I got pregnant that cycle, I think; or maybe the next. So, baby #6, living child #2, was born August of 2018.
6. Baby
I'm alright. I'm still pretty bitter about whoops pregnancies and people who just...have an easy time getting and staying that way. People who never have to try or struggle at all. It's stupid, I know it is-- I would never wish all of this on anyone. Never. It's just hard to see everyone else enjoy an incredible privelege they don't even know they have. Actually, I should say "take for granted," because "enjoy" isn't even the right word. Most of them don't know how lucky they are, because they have no real clue the other side even exists. They did nothing to earn it. It's just luck.
I told a friend at one point, it's like busting your ass working three jobs, working literally as hard as you can to make ends meet, and not quite making it, while everyone around you is just stumbling into winning lottery tickets everywhere they go. Half the time they didn't even buy the ticket. A lot of them don't even want the ticket, complain about winning, and whine through the whole pregnancy.
Not that their feelings aren't valid. But. Y'know. It's just rough.
Anyway. I'm fine, and this is the end of the story. No more babies here. I can't handle the loss roller coaster, and two is enough for me to handle.
I want a tattoo incorporating all my kids somehow, likely their birth flowers. Maybe I'll update again if I ever get that.
Take care of yourself. Hydrate. It gets better. ❤
